"Put cancer in its place"

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The diagnosis of cancer shakes a person to their foundations. How do you cope with it? And can the disease even have a positive effect? The psycho-oncologist Serap Tari on dealing with a threatening illness in the NetDoctor conversation.

Serap Tari

Serap Tari works as a psycho-oncologist for the non-profit association Lebensmut e.V. in Munich. It supports people with cancer and their relatives in coping with the disease. The work is financed exclusively through donations. www.lebensmut.org

Ms. Tari, the diagnosis of cancer - what does she do to a person?

I would like to thank the sociologist Dr. To quote Nicolas Gerdes, who said: “A cancer diagnosis is a fall from normal reality.” In fact, such a message first turns everything upside down. We know that our life is finite, but the concrete awareness of it usually only comes in such a crisis.

According to surveys, cancer is the disease people are most afraid of - although far fewer die from it than from cardiovascular disease, for example.

That something grows in you that you cannot control, that it spreads - this idea is difficult to endure. The awareness that it is not a virus or a bacterium, but my own body cells that can change viciously and kill me is terrifying.

How do you cope with it?

It is important that you do not allow yourself to be dominated by cancer, but rather put the disease in its place. In the first few weeks after diagnosis, the disease permeates all areas of life. We help the patient to push it back step by step until it can be integrated into everyday life at some point.

And how?

It's about seeing that there are still a lot of healthy parts in life. To focus on the fact that, for example, if breast cancer is detected early, “only” the breast is affected. But that you still have healthy feet, legs and hands to move around, to be creative. The sick should recognize that they can continue doing things that they used to enjoy doing: going for a walk, hobbies, activities with friends or family or even work.

Does everyone need psychological help to do this?

No. Many manage to cope with the situation on their own due to their social integration, their lifestyle and their personality. But every third cancer patient would need professional support - from a psycho-oncologist or, if depression or an anxiety disorder develops, then specifically from a psychotherapist. Unfortunately, not everyone gets it.

Cancer patients often ask themselves "Why me?"

Asking the cause is an excellent approach to individually managing the disease. For example, when someone says “I didn't care enough about myself, I was always there for others”. Or “I just gnawed everything into myself”.

... but in fact we know that such factors play no role in the development of cancer.

Yes that's right. There is no such thing as a cancer personality. If you explain this to the patient, that is a relief. Most importantly, it helps them to change the very negative aspects in their lives that made them responsible for cancer. Starting there often works wonders.

Some patients even manage to gain something positive from the disease.

In fact, this is very often the case. The disease can be a catalyst for positive changes that you clean up in your life, get rid of people who are not good for you. That one dares new beginnings, becomes creative, dreams come true.

Such an alarming diagnosis can also make someone more aware of life than a healthy person. The sick experience certain moments more consciously, especially when they meet others, with family and friends. That can enrich life a lot. It's hard to believe, but I've met people for whom these moments were so precious that they said: "It was worth it."

The interview was conducted by Christiane Fux

For further reading:

Strengthen the soul - How psychotherapy can help with cancer

Patmos, 1st edition 2014

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