Sex after childbirth

Nicole Wendler holds a PhD in biology in the field of oncology and immunology. As a medical editor, author and proofreader, she works for various publishers, for whom she presents complex and extensive medical issues in a simple, concise and logical manner.

More about the experts All content is checked by medical journalists.

It can sometimes take some time before the first sex after the birth. Due to the physical changes, the strains of childbirth and the new life as a third party, sexuality often takes a back seat for women. Read here what you can do if you have sexual problems, when you can have sex again after giving birth and which method of contraception is suitable.

Not in the mood for sex after giving birth

It usually takes a while for the desire to have sex to return after giving birth. It is completely normal. Many women do not feel particularly comfortable in their bodies at first: the stomach is still flabby, the breasts are strained by the inflow of milk and breastfeeding, and the wound may have to heal after a caesarean section or a perineal suture. The hormonal changes after childbirth can lead to mood swings that affect the couple's life. In addition, there is taking care of the newborn - a 24-hour job that steals sleep and energy. For this reason, most women usually feel tired and listless for the first time. In addition, the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for milk production, inhibits sexual desire.

The situation is new and unfamiliar to the fathers too. Often a man is insecure and irritated by the physical closeness between mother and child. Many men also worry that having sex will cause pain after their partner is born. In addition, the new responsibility and the changes in everyday life can drain the strength of the fathers. Couples who share the night shifts both suffer from lack of sleep.

Especially at the beginning, both partners need a lot of patience, but also mutual care. Talk to each other about your feelings, fears, and desires.

When is sex allowed after childbirth?

No woman is the same. Some would like to get intimate with their partner again shortly after giving birth. From a medical point of view, nothing speaks against it. Even if the weekly flow has not yet dried up, sex after the birth is in principle allowed. If the weekly flow is present, however, the wound healing is not yet complete, so that there is an increased risk of infection during this time. You should therefore pay particular attention to hygiene and use condoms to prevent infections.

Tips for having sex for the first time after giving birth

The first sex after the birth is usually not completely relaxed. Pain during sexual intercourse (dyspareunia) or previously unknown problems are not uncommon in the beginning:

• During breastfeeding, the vaginal mucosa is often too dry due to the low estrogen level: The pain that this causes during sex can be avoided with lubricating creams.
• Especially when having sex for the first time after giving birth, women feel comfortable in positions in which they can control the intensity and depth of penetration of the penis themselves.
• Breastfeeding puts a lot of strain on the breasts, which makes touching rather uncomfortable. Point this out to your partner. Breastfeeding before intercourse can help.
• Postural gymnastics not only strengthens the pelvic floor and prevents incontinence. It also gives women and men more intense sensations during postpartum sex.

Sexual problems and pain during intercourse are more common after the birth, especially if the birth was associated with an operation. If the pain during sex persists after childbirth, you should consult a doctor.

Having sex after childbirth: which method of contraception is the right one?

If you do not want to get pregnant again after having sex for the first time, you should by no means rely on the reduced fertility caused by breastfeeding: Breastfeeding is not a safe form of contraception! Every woman, regardless of whether she is breastfeeding or not, should deal with the subject of contraception in good time, because the first period after the birth can start shortly after the weekly flow has subsided. If you ovulate about ten to fourteen days before your menstrual period, you could theoretically get pregnant again immediately.

Which contraception is suitable for the first sex after giving birth depends primarily on whether you are breastfeeding or not. Hormone preparations can reach the child through breast milk. Estrogen, in particular, is harmful to your child's health and inhibits milk production. In addition, some contraceptive methods require your body to regenerate after the birth or to start your period again first. Natural methods such as measuring the temperature are unsuitable for sex after the birth, as the hormones take a long time to level off again.

In summary, the following contraceptives are generally suitable for breastfeeding:

• Condom or diaphragm: most harmless shortly after birth; the regenerating body is not affected; the breast milk remains hormone-free.
• Hormone IUD: contains only progestin; Does not affect milk and child health.
• IUD: unproblematic for milk production and child health; Before insertion, the uterus must have completely regressed (six to eight weeks after birth).
• Minipill: contains only progestin; does not affect milk and infant; strictly adhere to the daily intake time; applicable six weeks after birth at the earliest.

Because of the side effects, breastfeeding mothers should only use the following preparations after thorough consultation with their gynecologist:

• Hormone implant: applicable no earlier than four weeks after birth; Active substance passes into breast milk; does not affect milk and baby's health.
• Three-month syringe: can be used six weeks after birth at the earliest; Side effects common; Liver damage in infants cannot be excluded.
• Morning-after pill: just in case of emergency; Active ingredients pass into breast milk, therefore a breastfeeding break of 36 hours must be observed before ingestion.

The following products contain estrogen and are unsuitable for breastfeeding women:

• Vaginal ring
• Contraceptive patch
• birth control pills

Lust takes time

Sometimes it takes a while for the desire to have sex to return after giving birth. Occasionally, opportunities for closeness and tenderness may simply be lacking. Then it is helpful to organize a child-free time. The focus does not necessarily have to be on sexuality. By laughing together and togetherness, lost closeness can be rebuilt - a prerequisite for a fulfilling sex life. One more tip at the end: A child sleeping permanently in the parents' bed is not necessarily conducive to sex after the birth.

Tags:  menopause medicinal herbal home remedies stress