Female narcissism

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Julia Dobmeier is currently completing her master's degree in clinical psychology. Since the beginning of her studies, she has been particularly interested in the treatment and research of mental illnesses. In doing so, they are particularly motivated by the idea of ​​enabling those affected to enjoy a higher quality of life by conveying knowledge in a way that is easy to understand.

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Female narcissism often fluctuates between size fantasies and feelings of inferiority. Narcissistic women hunger for admiration and approval. Only then do they feel good. On the outside, they appear perfect, but they are gnawed by strong self-doubt. Read everything you need to know about female narcissism here.

ICD codes for this disease: ICD codes are internationally recognized codes for medical diagnoses. They can be found, for example, in doctor's letters or on certificates of incapacity for work. F60

Female Narcissism: Hiding Behind Perfection

The term narcissism is often used in connection with megalomania, the pursuit of power and arrogance. Examples of well-known narcissistic personalities are usually male names such as that of the former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. But narcissism doesn't just affect men. It can also affect women. However, narcissism in women manifests itself differently than in men.

Experts fundamentally differentiate between the covert and the open form of narcissism. Men are more likely to show an overt form of narcissism. They are convinced of their greatness and show it off openly. In women, narcissism is more likely to work through their looks and attractiveness. And since female narcissism is often covert, it is not always obvious at first glance.

The psychotherapist Bärbel Wardetzki has dealt intensively with the form of female narcissism. She describes narcissistic women as characterized by strong opposites: perfect appearance on the outside, but depression and emptiness on the inside. Fantasies about your own greatness serve as protection against insecurity and the feeling of not being good, pretty or lovable.

Female narcissism: symptoms

Similar to male narcissism, women often appear strong and superior on the outside. They are mostly women with a perfect demeanor. They attach great importance to their appearance, are very powerful and take care not to make mistakes. There is a lot of suffering hidden behind this facade. While the exterior is carefully cared for, one's needs and feelings are neglected. Contrary to external appearances, the self-esteem of the women concerned is very low.

Female narcissism thrives on recognition and admiration from other people. Those affected often attribute positive experiences and successes to their appearance or superficial values. They cannot imagine receiving appreciation for themselves alone. Narcissistic women also have very high demands on themselves. Many are dominated by the fear of not living up to these demands.

Female Narcissism: Consequences and Concomitant Disorders

If it is very pronounced, narcissism can severely impair the quality of life of women and have serious effects. The line between personality trait and disorder is fine. Once the person suffers from narcissism and its consequences, therapeutic treatment should be considered.

For women with narcissistic personality disorder, making critical comments is not only hurtful, but a real threat. Because self-esteem depends on the facade. Once the mask crumbles, they feel lost. Getting older or separating from your partner can plunge you into deep crises. Depression and anxiety disorders, but also eating disorders and addiction problems, often occur in combination with female narcissism.

Female Narcissism: A Burden On The Family

Narcissistic mothers (but also fathers) are a heavy burden for the children because they lack the ability to take back their own needs. The children therefore usually have to look after themselves at an early age. It can be difficult, especially for a daughter, because the mother identifies with her. All of the problems the mother has with herself are passed on to her daughter. The daughter can also be perceived as female competition.

The internal split between greatness and feeling of inferiority is also reflected in the behavior of a narcissistic mother towards the children. Often one child is idealized and another is devalued.

Whether daughter or son: Narcissistic mothers either do not recognize the child's successes at all or only when they improve their own image, for example when they graduate from school. The child is intended to serve the narcissistic mother to maintain the facade of the perfect woman and mother. These children only receive love if they correspond to their mother's ideas.

Regardless of what the kids go through or experience, it's all about the mother. This type of emotional abuse is mostly hidden from outsiders. The mother may show herself to be loving and concerned with neighbors, friends, or relatives. At home, however, the narcissistic mother conveys to the child that it is a burden for her.

People with narcissistic personality disorder can also be very manipulative. This is how narcissistic mothers put their children in situations where they can only lose. Whatever the behavior, the child will end up feeling the anger or revenge of the mother. If the child confronts the mother with her behavior, she either blames the child for it or feels sorry for herself.

A narcissistic mother is unable to see her own faults. Admitting mistakes would call their greatness into question and thus threaten their self-image.

The aforementioned family problems that female narcissism can cause are also evident in narcissistic fathers.

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