Birth preparation for men

All content is checked by medical journalists.

Women experience pregnancy as an enormous change, from a physical point of view alone. The fathers-to-be are left out in many cases. You will not get a big belly, you will not suffer from drastic hormone changes and mood swings, and you will not have to fear the pain of childbirth. Here you can find out how men can prepare for the birth and the time afterwards and why this is important in the first place!

Forgotten fathers

When a child is on the go, the expectant mothers with their growing belly and the various pregnancy ailments are the focus of attention. The fathers-to-be, on the other hand, are often marginalized. They should "just be there" after the birth. How they become the best possible fathers is not so important at first. Especially with the first child, however, the changes in everyday life are extremely drastic. One cannot actually prepare for it in detail. But there are ways in which fathers can cope well with their partner's pregnancy, the birth and, above all, the time afterwards.

What man can do

First, fathers-to-be should find out how a pregnancy actually works. The men should know what is going on in the partner's stomach. This in turn should involve your partner so that he gets to know the feeling when the child makes the first noticeable movements. If the pregnancy is more advanced, it can really provoke the child's movements. This enables the future fathers to develop a relationship with the child.

By the way: The woman should be able to feel whether the man is caressing her or the child in her stomach. Fathers-to-be must be aware of this - a pregnant woman needs a lot of love and tenderness.

How about sex during pregnancy?

When it comes to sex, there are no restrictions on a normal pregnancy. In some women, the feeling of pleasure is even increased during pregnancy. If the belly gets bigger, intimacy can become more arduous. By changing the positions, you can still practice sexual intercourse. If there are medical objections to intercourse, you can definitely switch to other practices that satisfy sexual pleasure - from both partners. However, the wishes of the woman should be in the foreground during this time. If there is a disagreement, the partners should discuss it with one another.

What is there to learn in childbirth preparation?

Most expectant fathers smile at the pregnancy preparation courses. There they can not only learn how to put on a diaper or bathe the child. You will also learn useful things about childbirth and the puerperium. Those who are well informed can cope better with the changes.

In the preparation courses, among other things, relaxing gymnastics is presented and explained. In this way, the relationship between the parents-to-be in the difficult time towards the end of the pregnancy may become more intimate and relaxed. In addition, men learn in the preparatory courses how to massage their partner or help her to breathe if she is overwhelmed by painful contractions during the birth.

So there are few, but important ways a man can help his wife with childbirth - and also himself: The feeling of standing helplessly by the side of the birth when the partner doubles, cries and screams in pain namely, for many fathers-to-be, they are almost unbearable.

What to take with you at birth

The day of childbirth is also a stressful day for fathers-to-be. Therefore, you should prepare for it:

• wear comfortable and not too warm clothes (the birth can take a long time and it is warm in the delivery room)
• Take drinks and quick energizers (such as granola bars, chocolate) with you or money to buy some
• Camera if desired
• Switch off the cell phone ("outside calls" disturb the delivery; in most clinics cell phones are even forbidden in the maternity department)

What should fathers watch out for after childbirth?

Newly baked fathers should pay attention to the interests of their partner after giving birth. Often, mothers are overwhelmed with the countless visits but do not dare to say so. In addition, the so-called "howling day" comes from around the third day. The reason for this is the hormonal change in the female body. The men usually can't do much here. You should just be there and hug your partner if you want - that often helps more than a thousand words.

What happens at home

At home, the young family will face further challenges. The mother is tired, broken and "only" there for the baby. You can do that as long as everything is new. After a few weeks, most men are pretty happy if they can at least temporarily escape the whole situation through their job. Often there are moments when women even envy them.

Men should join the mother-child relationship during this time. They should take on tasks: bathing the child, changing diapers or taking them for a walk so that the partner can sleep for an hour without an "open ear". This is good for the partnership and the relationship with the child. If the coexistence plays out in this way, the care of the child does not lead to a pronounced imbalance between mother and father. In this way, partnership conflicts can perhaps be avoided.

It is also important that men should find their own way of dealing with the child that their partner should also accept. Each parent has his or her own personal approach. Whether it is correct can be measured, among other things, by the child's satisfaction.

When can you have sexual intercourse again?

If the weekly flow stops after about six weeks and any cracks or cuts have healed, sexual intercourse is theoretically possible again. Often, however, women don't really feel like it. On the one hand, this is due to the burden of motherhood. The new mothers are simply tired, exhausted and broken. In addition, there may be fear of pain or a new pregnancy.

Sometimes women just want tenderness, warmth, security - and no sex. This is usually difficult for men to understand. Breastfeeding women in particular are often exhausted on the emotional level because they constantly give the child food, warmth and security. It is therefore important to replenish the "memory".

The woman's body is changed after the delivery and the previously accustomed figure does not change immediately. This can also dampen the partner's desire for intimacy. It takes time for the physical changes from the past nine months to subside. The vagina can be changed by pregnancy and childbirth, it is wider and less under tension. This can be counteracted with pelvic floor exercises. It also reduces the risk that the woman will later involuntarily lose urine (urinary incontinence).

Challenge for mother and father

Moving from togetherness to living as a small family and caring for a newborn is a challenge for most parents. Both mothers and fathers should not forget about themselves and their own partnership. It is important to find a compromise every day between the requirements of parenting and partner roles and your own needs - and that affects fathers and mothers alike.

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