Always quarrel with the old

Martina Feichter studied biology with an elective subject pharmacy in Innsbruck and also immersed herself in the world of medicinal plants. From there it was not far to other medical topics that still captivate her to this day. She trained as a journalist at the Axel Springer Academy in Hamburg and has been working for since 2007 - first as an editor and since 2012 as a freelance writer.

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Philistines with old-fashioned attitudes and no understanding of youth: Parents seem to turn into real spoilers when their children hit puberty. Clothes, going out, school - there is hardly a topic that young and old cannot argue about. Such conflicts cannot be completely avoided, but a few tips can help prevent constant clashes between you and your parents.

Loud arguments with parents and slamming doors seem to be part of puberty. There is hardly a family where things are always harmonious when the offspring outgrow childhood and find their way into the adult world. You start to break away from your parents, to distance yourself from them and to have your own experiences - and that is right and normal.

But it is also normal that your parents love you, protect you from dangers and mistakes and want to give you the best from their own wealth of experience. The following topics are usually the cause of arguments between parents and teenagers:

• You won't leave my house like this! Many teens experiment with their looks to find their own style. Adults' judgment of the youthful outfit is often harsh - too revealing, too sloppy, too messy. Which then often incites the offspring to "impossible" to dress.
• Finally clean up your room! Creative chaos or pigsty - where the border runs between them, it is wonderful to argue about. At the latest, however, when you can't see the floor for all the clothes or the room air starts to smell, it can't hurt to create a little order.
• You're home at ten! Having to go home when you are enjoying yourself is bitter. And when your friends are allowed to go out longer than you are, it becomes even more embarrassing. No wonder teenagers haggle with their parents for extra “freedom” every half hour.
• Take care of school more! Friends and hobbies are usually much higher priority for young people than school grades and homework - life happens now and demands fun, who cares about the future. But that's exactly what parents worry about when absenteeism and bad grades pile up.

It is no wonder that there can be a crash between you and your parents on these and other topics, as different efforts collide - you want to develop and develop, try new things and go your own way. Your parents, on the other hand, want to protect you and spare you one or the other mistake.

Learn to argue

Arguing properly has to be learned. Just shouting around, slamming the door and wandering into the pout is definitely not a sensible method. If you and your parents disagree on a topic, you should try to calmly explain your point of view and your feelings to them. As well as your parents know you, they can't see inside you and guess your thoughts. So tell them what's going on inside you - maybe that will resolve the argument.

Compromise

Some disputes can only be resolved with a compromise. To do this, both sides have to be ready to approach each other a little. If your parents want you to be home by ten but your friends want to stay out until midnight, you might be able to come to an agreement by eleven o'clock. You should keep such agreements exactly. This shows your parents that they can trust you. Then they gradually allow you more freedom.

understanding

Last but not least, there is one thing you need above all in order not to let the coexistence between you and your parents degenerate into a constant dispute: Understanding, on both sides. Even if you are right in the process of becoming self-employed, your parents are still responsible for you. Respect their responsibility and their desire to want the "best" for you. Conversely, your parents need to learn to let go of you and let you make your own experiences and mistakes, because that's part of growing up.

One more tip at the end: ask your parents how it was back then in their youth and with their parents - maybe they'll start to grin and understand better how you are doing.

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