Help - I'm being bullied
Dr. Andrea Bannert has been with since 2013. The doctor of biology and medicine editor initially carried out research in microbiology and is the team's expert on the tiny things: bacteria, viruses, molecules and genes. She also works as a freelancer for Bayerischer Rundfunk and various science magazines and writes fantasy novels and children's stories.
More about the experts All content is checked by medical journalists.Some people already have a queasy feeling in their stomachs at the weekend when they think about school on Monday. The reason is often not bad grades at all, but the fear of classmates who are systematically harassing them. The new German word for it is mobbing - or bullying - and it is not an isolated case. In almost every German school class there is at least one victim who has to endure weekly attacks. But what exactly does "bullying" mean? And what can you do if you are affected or others are affected?
The word "bullying" comes from the English word "to mob", which means "to mob". In the meantime, the term “bullying” is also used. In principle, however, both mean the same thing: that a person is regularly, that is, at least once a week and over a longer period of time, harmed by mobbing. This can be done by a single perpetrator or a group. A one-off argument is therefore not bullying.
Forced into solitude
The aim of the bully is to turn his "victim" into an outsider. The violence can be physical or verbal. The spectrum of physical violence ranges from property damage or theft to beatings or sexual harassment. Psychological harm is, for example, when the perpetrator spreads rumors about the victim or prevents their contact with other students. Offensive remarks or when someone is ignored and laughed at are also part of passive violence. Bullying can also take place on the Internet.
Minor quarrels or teasing often seem harmless. But over a longer period of time they are by no means. Social isolation can have serious consequences. The victims lose their self-confidence and no longer take anything in their hands. They withdraw into their snail shell and get lonely. The entire personality changes in the process. Some lose the ability to approach others openly. In the worst case, sufferers become depressed or even try to kill themselves. Twenty percent of annual suicide cases are caused by bullying.
Physical symptoms can also be the result of bullying attacks, such as insomnia, loss of appetite or abdominal pain. Victims often find it difficult to concentrate, which results in poorer grades in school. Many also have nightmares.
Colorful cow in the herd
Young people are particularly often victims of bullying if they are different from the other students in the class. Sometimes cheap clothes are enough. The age threshold for brand awareness has fallen in recent years. From the fifth grade at the latest, brand names must be on trousers, sneakers, sweaters and the like. Who does not play is "out". But basically it can also be a bit more weight on the ribs, a disability, a different religion or origin, in short: anything that makes the person affected different from the rest of the class in order to make him or her a victim of bullying . It is also often not easy for those who are new to a class.
However, this does not mean that everyone has to wear very expensive clothes or should always do what others do in order not to become a victim of bullying. Because other factors play an important role: The perpetrator must feel superior - mostly physically. So those who seem particularly fearful of others or who are over-adjusted with a low self-esteem are more easily attacked. In contrast, there are also provocative victims who unconsciously annoy others through their behavior, for example because they are always nervous and unfocused.
Wrong valve for aggression
The bullying often gives the perpetrators recognition that they do not get in any other way. They take their frustrations out on others. Bullying also reduces aggression. Many bullies have a lack of awareness of wrongdoing, are very impulsive and act self-confidently. Sometimes there is also a false sense of community behind it - namely when a group of perpetrators bullying together. A generally disturbed climate in the class often also contributes to bullying attacks. The perpetrators do not always have to be students. It is quite possible that young people are attacked by their teachers.
Talk openly about bullying
That is why outside support is necessary. If you see a classmate being bullied, let a trusted adult know about it, such as a teacher. Victims should deal with the issue as openly as possible. If you don't dare to talk to an adult about it, you can seek support from allies in the class or from other friends. You can find anonymous help on the Internet or on bullying telephones. Internet forums offer the opportunity to exchange ideas with other affected parties.
In order to be able to process and communicate the attacks better, it is advisable to keep a bullying diary in which every act of violence is recorded. Sometimes it also helps to ask the perpetrator in writing to stop the undesired behavior. Personality or communication training, with which you can increase your self-esteem and your social skills, can also prevent bullying.
You can find more information and help here:
- You can get anonymous help with bullying, for example, at the "number against Kummer": 0800-1110333. The advisors there can also tell you about offers of help in the area.
- http://www.mobbing-in-der-schule.info/
